For the last several weeks, we've noticed increased competition between James and Kate. If James gets something (say a bite of some chocolate he caught me trying to eat undetected by children) but Kate does not, he makes sure she knows (i) that he got the thing, and (ii) that she did not. That, of course, as he intended it to do, sets her off.Similarly, if something happens to Kate that does not happen to James, she makes sure he knows he missed out on that thing (i.e. an extra bedtime story). Last week James said the closing prayer in Primary. As I picked them up, he enthusiastically reported, "I got to talk in the microphone and Kate didn't." We also frequently hear, from one or the other of them, "You are mad at [Kate/James], but you are happy at me?" Or, on last week's hike, "I am a good hiker, but Kate is not. Right?"
Tonight's competition reached a new level. Kate asked if she could sleep in our room tonight. Ben said yes. James didn't hear the request, only Ben's answer, and said, "I want want Kate wants." Then Kate said, "Dad, when I wake up, can I have something James can't have?" James followed-on with, "I want whatever Kate has." Now they are jockeying for hypothetical advantages!
This sort of competition is happening all the time. Is there a constructive way for a parent to respond or intervene? Please help!
2 comments:
I'd love to hear what you decide on this. we have some great friends who have girls close in age and have tried to make everything "even" and fair for them. it's hard now to try to explain that life isn't always "even." it's ok to like different things and experience different things... it's easy to say, but I'm not sure how old kids would have to be to understand that. my two youngest are 8 months apart and I can already see similar issues developing... keep us posted on this one!
Love these kids. They are so funny.
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